I'm writing to all of you readers from the eye of the storm - perhaps one of the only sunny days amidst more than two weeks of almost incessant rain. It is, I believe, a textbook example of that perennial Southeast Asian rainy season deluge that I conveniently chose to pretend didn't exist for residents of the "Spring City" - the local nickname for Kunming. My weather widget shows a clean line of rain images for today through Friday, although on Thursday we'll mix it up with a bit o' lightning. GET PSYCHED.
However, I don't want to give the impression that these few weeks are a miserable time - CONTRARILY, the rain just makes my favorite coffee shops all the more inviting, and our lives here at Yunda are really as comfortable as ever. When the rain drops suddenly out of a previously graying but voiceless sky and you happen to be passing the Prague Cafe, it's the perfect excuse to duck in and treat yourself to a Western breakfast-for-lunch and a little bootleg Planet Earth.
But, when the weather is nice, and you should be seizing your only opportunity in the foreseeable future to wash and dry your by now thrice-worn clothes (the moldy socks hanging from the tree beside my dorm provide a constant reminder of the dangers of rainy-week drying), there's only one activity you can imagine doing: buying things! It's time to 买东西, to exercise that good ol' American consumer muscle that is rapidly becoming a part of the Chinese cultural physique.
Today, I and a few friends went prowling for purchases, trolling for trinkets, ogling objects, etc. at the 花鸟市场，or Bird and Flower Market. While it still boasts a veritable smorgasbord (really, now? 'Menagerie' would be much more appropriate) of pets for purchase, including turtles, mice, break-your-heart puppies and birds of, well, a lot of birds, it is also THE place in Kunming to buy baubles, colorful clothing, swords, scarves, possible jade, and just about any smoking paraphernalia you can imagine (tobacco remains Yunnan's top annual export, and is one of the foci of the local economy).
Mostly, though, it's a great place to go and practice bartering. Thanks to some previous training (thanks Hang) I know the general technique: let them tell you their initial price, and then their "special for you price" - always a good deal lower than the original, and then their "lowest possible price" - now we're getting there - before you begin with the back and forth of gradually equalizing suggestions. When you've found a price you're not happy going above, you inform them in no uncertain terms that were they to offer it at that price, you will 肯定，肯定！buy it. Then, as they insist it is too low, you shrug your shoulders, turn away, and... "好！" If it weren't such a reliable system, it wouldn't be so much fun, but it really makes a nice afternoon game. Of course, the price you arrive it is in all likelihood still a little high(especially if you are me), but what do you know - at least it's half of what they said the first time. Definite win-win...win.
My favorite purchase, however, was not bargained for - it was bought at one of the many bootleg DVD shops around Yunda's campus. And no, it isn't the aforementioned Planet Earth - being downloaded from the internet at low resolution and thrown onto some definitely-not-'Blue-ray'-despite-what-the-case-says discs does terrible things to some of the more stunning shots. My best buy is a copy of Fantasia 2000.
Yes, I have heard that it really wasn't the first, and no, I have yet to actually watch it. But this DVD is a wonderful example of the ingenuity/obliviousness/what-the-hell of the Chinese bootleg DVD market. Here is what the cover looks like:
Not, bad, right? But let me just turn it over for you, and tell you how it all goes down. The reverse side appears fairly commonplace - it features several screenshots, as well as a summary, scene index, and a positive review. But closer inspection reveals that the summary references not Disney's visually appealing joining of classical music and animation, but the "handsome and brash Captain James T. Kirk" and his mission to (of course) "boldly go where no man has gone before." The Chinese summary I haven't managed to translate fully, but definitely mentions a king and the year 1940. A little research revealed that the scene index is in fact from the 2000 Kirsten Dunst Romance-flashback movie Deeply, and the review, which states that this "beautiful, startlingly audacious, and often very funny" film "will make you feel deeply about love and war," - which can not possibly refer to any of the previously mentioned films, with the possible exception of the yet-to-be-identified Chinese flick, - is a review for A Very Long Engagement.
The more observant of you may even have noticed a trio of McDonald's arches on the sleeve cover. But that is nothing, however, compared to the treasure inside:
There it is, all dolled-up in M's like it's some sort of fantastic happy meal prize. And of course: Blue-ray. Gotta be lovin' it.
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